Married to an Albanian: How I met my (then) future husband.
Assalamualaikum, good day.
It has been almost two months since he flew back to his country. Almost two months in long distance marriage and in total of 2 years in long distance relationship. I did not share a lot about my personal life, even to my family. I chose to keep many things to myself because I do not think people will understand. Plus, I hated the skepticism and silent doubt they unintentionally expressed. Yes, i hated it. Now, I don't really care anymore.
One of the most frequently asked question to me (and my husband) was how we met?
If this question was to be asked, let say, 4 months ago, my answer would be, 'I met him when I was attending a conference somewhere' . This is a lie. But i rather call it a 'white lie'. I said that because i do not want people to ask any further question about my relationship. The truth is, I met my husband in a Muslim matrimonial website, Pure Matrimony. It was about the end of my three months subscription when I saw his profile and I clicked it. That was how it began. It is not easy to tell everyone about how I met my husband because I hate (mashaAllah, how can I emphasize this?) the skepticism and other people's reaction to it.
In 2015, I subscribed myself for a three months subscription in the above mentioned matrimonial website. It was the last few days of my subscription and I have not yet met the right future spouse. Feeling empty and hopeless, I went through the potential spouse profiles (yes, it was filtered, I know what I was looking for in a future spouse) and I saw a profile, Albanian85. Normally, what I did was to read the profile and decide whether to take the next step, or not. Ultimately, I only checked this Albanian85's education and height (yes, height is important to me), and clicked his profile. In Facebook, this action is equivalent to 'poke', and I signed out.
Clingggg.....my email notification after few minutes. Checked the email noticing me that I got a message from this Albanian85 guy.
People...the rest is history. :-)
By the way, sisters and brothers, in any mean, I am not sponsored by the website. I just share my experience and hoping that more people will open their mind and heart to try matrimonial sites. However, I suggest you to choose the site wisely. I have no comment about dating site because my intention was to find a practicing Muslim life partner, not a boyfriend.
For those who are Malaysians and planning to get married to a foreigner, you might want to check my previous post here.
General guide from me:
>> If you plan to choose online matrimonial site, please choose the one with reputation and it is usually not free. Free matrimonial sites attracts too many not-serious subscribers.
>> Think about what you want in a person. For me, i was looking for a practicing Muslim who can accept me in any way, willing to learn together, smart, calm and sabr. I cannot stand people with temper.
>> Do not easily share your details. Talk about very general things first. Like, jobs, studies, food, culture.
>> Do not put physical appearance as the most importance. Learn to accept and adapt IF HE/SHE IS A GOOD MUSLIM
>> Be open minded and always ask Allah to guide you.
And that is how I actually met my future husband. To those whom I have lied about this, I am genuinely apologised.
20December2017,
Akidah Mataj
It has been almost two months since he flew back to his country. Almost two months in long distance marriage and in total of 2 years in long distance relationship. I did not share a lot about my personal life, even to my family. I chose to keep many things to myself because I do not think people will understand. Plus, I hated the skepticism and silent doubt they unintentionally expressed. Yes, i hated it. Now, I don't really care anymore.
One of the most frequently asked question to me (and my husband) was how we met?
If this question was to be asked, let say, 4 months ago, my answer would be, 'I met him when I was attending a conference somewhere' . This is a lie. But i rather call it a 'white lie'. I said that because i do not want people to ask any further question about my relationship. The truth is, I met my husband in a Muslim matrimonial website, Pure Matrimony. It was about the end of my three months subscription when I saw his profile and I clicked it. That was how it began. It is not easy to tell everyone about how I met my husband because I hate (mashaAllah, how can I emphasize this?) the skepticism and other people's reaction to it.
In 2015, I subscribed myself for a three months subscription in the above mentioned matrimonial website. It was the last few days of my subscription and I have not yet met the right future spouse. Feeling empty and hopeless, I went through the potential spouse profiles (yes, it was filtered, I know what I was looking for in a future spouse) and I saw a profile, Albanian85. Normally, what I did was to read the profile and decide whether to take the next step, or not. Ultimately, I only checked this Albanian85's education and height (yes, height is important to me), and clicked his profile. In Facebook, this action is equivalent to 'poke', and I signed out.
Clingggg.....my email notification after few minutes. Checked the email noticing me that I got a message from this Albanian85 guy.
People...the rest is history. :-)
By the way, sisters and brothers, in any mean, I am not sponsored by the website. I just share my experience and hoping that more people will open their mind and heart to try matrimonial sites. However, I suggest you to choose the site wisely. I have no comment about dating site because my intention was to find a practicing Muslim life partner, not a boyfriend.
For those who are Malaysians and planning to get married to a foreigner, you might want to check my previous post here.
General guide from me:
>> If you plan to choose online matrimonial site, please choose the one with reputation and it is usually not free. Free matrimonial sites attracts too many not-serious subscribers.
>> Think about what you want in a person. For me, i was looking for a practicing Muslim who can accept me in any way, willing to learn together, smart, calm and sabr. I cannot stand people with temper.
>> Do not easily share your details. Talk about very general things first. Like, jobs, studies, food, culture.
>> Do not put physical appearance as the most importance. Learn to accept and adapt IF HE/SHE IS A GOOD MUSLIM
>> Be open minded and always ask Allah to guide you.
And that is how I actually met my future husband. To those whom I have lied about this, I am genuinely apologised.
20December2017,
Akidah Mataj
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